The Year I Chose Myself: What Happens When a Recovering Good Girl Takes Inventory
Season 1 finale of the Midlife Moxie with Nicole Hate podcast is here—and I'm breaking all my own rules.
I was supposed to end Season 1 with an episode about "ongoing growth and moxie." You know, something inspirational and forward-focused. Something that kept the momentum going.
Instead, I'm doing something good girls are never taught to do: I'm pausing. Reflecting. Actually witnessing my own transformation instead of rushing past it toward the next goal.
Because here's what they don't tell you about recovering from good girl conditioning: reflection isn't indulgent. It's revolutionary.
In the Season 1 finale of the Recovering Good Girls Revolution podcast, I share the year I chose myself—over family expectations, over business containers that didn't fit, over systems that required my compliance. And then I invite you to do the same.
Here's a taste of what we're diving into:
When Family Obligation Becomes Self-Destruction
The year started with me deep in the medical expert role with my in-laws. I had the experience…nursing background, elder care work, caring for my own father through his decline. I knew how to handle this.
So the good girl in me showed up with bells on. I dropped everything: cancelled self-care appointments, put business plans on hold, cancelled client meetings, postponed trainings. I told myself this was just what you do for family.
Until my body sent me a bill I couldn't ignore.
The truth I earned through illness and burnout: Choosing myself isn't selfish when the alternative is self-destruction. "Family" doesn't mean I owe anyone my health, my business, or my soul.
I stepped back. Set boundaries that looked "selfish" from the outside. Said truths that weren't harmonious. And chose my personal peace over their comfort.
Here's what matters for the revolution: Every time a woman chooses herself over a system that needs her compliant, she gives permission to other women to do the same. My "selfish" boundary became a sacred act of self-preservation that ripples beyond just me.
The Expensive Education in Trusting Yourself
Professionally, I made some costly exits this year. I entered new containers, worked with new coaches, took chances on programs that promised the magic formula for business success.
I was drawn in by the social media presence, the follower numbers, the polished promises. And my wallet paid the price when I realized I was sacrificing big parts of myself for rules someone else made that worked for them, not for me.
The wisdom I bought with cold, hard cash: My worth isn't in the follower count. My impact isn't measured in likes. My business isn't validated by someone else's blueprint.
As a Gen X woman who grew up comparing herself to Brooke Shields in Calvin Klein jeans and the popular girls in school, I was trained for the comparison trap from the beginning. Now it's just dressed up in different packaging—instead of school popularity, it's Instagram success metrics.
Here's the revolution: Women are being sold a lie that if we just follow the right strategy, learn from the right guru, get the right number of followers—then we'll finally be enough. But it's all just good girl conditioning in a new cage.
When Your Voice Remembers Its Own Fire
For years, I wanted to start a podcast. YEARS.
But I told myself I didn't know what to talk about. I didn't have the right technical support. I'd purchased software two years ago and never even tried to learn it.
It was easier to tell myself stories about what I couldn't do than to risk putting something imperfect into the world.
Then my calendar looked quite open. And lonely. And I knew I had to do something.
What I reclaimed wasn't just the ability to start a podcast—I reclaimed my creative power. The part of me that dreams and builds and puts things into the world even when they're imperfect. The part that trusts my own wisdom enough to share it. The part that doesn't need permission from anyone—not even from my own fear.
Here I am, ending the year with episode 32.
The invitation: What parts of yourself have you buried to fit into someone else's container? What creative power have you kept locked away with stories about not being ready, not being qualified, not having the right tools?
Your voice doesn't need someone else's magic. It has its own fire.
Why Women in Midlife Disappear (And Why I Refuse To)
For years—YEARS—I'd been dismissed in perimenopause and now menopause. Told it was normal. Told to just deal with it. Told to try yoga or meditation instead of actually addressing my hormonal health.
This year? I was done.
I found a doctor who was actually educated in menopause and women's health. One who listened. One who treated my body like it mattered. And I started HRT and progesterone.
This is dangerous because women—especially women in midlife—are supposed to disappear. We're supposed to accept decline. We're supposed to be grateful for whatever scraps of healthcare we can get. We're supposed to suffer through hot flashes and brain fog and just... deal with it.
But I chose myself. I chose my vitality. I chose to demand healthcare that actually serves women's bodies.
When other women see me refusing to disappear, refusing to accept dismissal, refusing to suffer silently—they start to question their own acceptance of systems that don't serve them.
That's the ripple effect of revolution.
Your Sacred Inventory Awaits
In the full podcast episode, I don't just share my stories—I guide you through your own sacred inventory for the year.
Using the Sacred Exit Method (RAGE, RECLAIM, RISE), I offer reflection prompts to help you witness your own transformation:
What did you exit this year? Not just jobs or relationships, but roles, beliefs, conditioning patterns, systems that required your compliance.
What parts of yourself did you reclaim? The parts you buried to be loved, suppressed to be safe, downplayed to be accepted.
How did you become dangerous? What boundaries disrupted others' comfort? What choices looked selfish but were sacred?
This isn't another forced year-end reflection exercise. This is devotion to your ongoing evolution. This is keeping this work alive in your world—not just another podcast you listened to, but a revolution you're actively living.
Listen to the Full Episode
This blog post is just the beginning. The full Season 1 finale is waiting for you on this website or your favorite podcast platform.
You'll hear:
The raw, vulnerable details of my exits and what they cost me
The full story of reclaiming my voice and creative power
Exactly how I became dangerous to systems that needed me compliant
The complete Sacred Exit Method reflection prompts for your own inventory
Permission to pause, witness, and honor your transformation
Episode 32: "The Year I Chose Myself: A Recovering Good Girl's Annual Review"
Season 2 is coming. But right now? We're taking stock. And that's sacred too.
Stay dangerous. Stay sacred. Keep choosing yourself.
Ready to bury the good girl and reclaim your dangerous, unapologetic self?
I guide women through deep pattern recognition and identity reclamation using various practices.
Book a Call - Let's explore what's really keeping you stuck and whether working together is the right fit.
Or if you're not ready for that yet, join my email list where I share deeper explorations of these topics without the Instagram-friendly polish. Real transformation for women who are ready to be dangerous.
Because the world doesn't need you to be a better good girl. It needs you to be free.
This content is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're experiencing concerning symptoms, please consult with a qualified mental health professional.